CHILDLESS MEN VS WOMEN WITH KIDS

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CHILDLESS MEN VS WOMEN WITH KIDS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhwG0AIelFs&;feature=g-all-u&context=G2fa957fFAAAAAAAAAAA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJcGLhOZaec&;feature=watch_response

"well..I listened to the first video you sent
just remember she never said she had "childless" men as options for a relationship
she just said she could be in "A" relationship if she chose to
Now...if she starts talking about childless men as options, as fine as these two bitches are, yes, childless men will look at them and some will try to get involved. It's dumb, for the most part.(take it from me...I know all too well) but, it still goes back to legacies.

-------

Yes, childless men will sleep with these women but ideally and as a rule it is not their first choice. Also if the conversation was just about men with CHILDREN - this wouldn't even be a point of discussion because he has kids too, he has no real grounds to stand on, the only weak excuse he could come up with is if he doesn't have custody which makes him a pseudo childless man

------------

If BM were building legacies and had them to pass on....BM would be less likely to get involved with a single mother FOR THAT REASON!!!
and
women would know
as a result of seeing BM pass on legacies, that they have to remain childless to be of value to a builder
The main reason that BM don't want to get involved with a woman with children is because we don't want to take care of another man's children
but...it should also include the idea of passing on our wealth, business, legacy because those children would not be ours"

I agree with Kaptansolo here. Building is out - most men don't want to deal with single mothers because they MINIMALLY do not want to take care of another man's kids.

Black men do NOT like to come up off their money for building, let alone - ANOTHER MAN'S CHILD.

The issue is to men with no children, these men are not going to look at these women as a potential for marriage (as a rule).

Although I agree with Kap about the lack of building part, it should be known REGARDLESS OF IF A MAN IS BUILDING OR NOT, that for men who are financially stable and especially childless, a woman with KIDS IS NOT!!! NOT NOT!!!!! HIS FIRST CHOICE.


---------------

Lo Lo from off the corner with 4 kids in all her thick (fat) divaliciousness is not going to get an on point black man with any sense.

LO LO will hear vids like this and be inspired
and so will the 15 year old girls who aren't baby mamas yet
and when they get pregnant
they want to join the single mother club because it looks appealing
HEY THEY'RE GIVING OUT MOTHER OF THE EARTH MEDALS OVER THERE LETS GO
and here's to u - SINGLE MOTHER OF THE YEAR!
applause!
im not saying that there aren't women doing an excellent job
but clearly most arent'

"Hey I told you about the baby momma awards they gave out at my church. I was livid."

"It is. You are right. Like its more prestigious and honorable to be a single mother. Its makes you a stronger black woman because you are doing it on your own. They need to stop with that. It is much more honorable and difficult to keep a family together. People forget that.
I know... like the experience of having children is more important than the child
Children need the father in the home period
IN the home
I still say (and I know that most do not agree with me on this) that women should just keep their damn legs closed. Its the simplest solution."


id say men should too
but i don't know y i give more credit to the women
because to me these men are idiots
and the women are the ones running around like they know everything

es the men are idiots, but women 1) have control of the situation when it comes to sex in most cases. Men RARELY say no. 2) she is going to be the single mother, he doesn't even have to acknowledge the kid.


i'm like ok fearless leader how did you allow this to happen to you - and that's when women retreat to - I'm just a woman with emotions and I don't think because I have ovaries... and that's precisely why women shouldn't be leading because I know shit like this is going to happen

Yes. That's what happened. It went from uplifting to promoting
NO shame associated with it at all
and they are teaching black women that black men are not needed
for anything other than sperm donations

" What on earth can be done? its only going to get worse.
When you have black women who are perceived as intelligent and beautiful PROMOTING baby momma hood, what can we do?
and THEY are baby mommas themselves?"

that's whats worse
if they were fat and nasty
they could easily be dismissed but when its the fine ones promoting it
DEAR GOD SAVE US ALL


SIDE NOTE: GREAT INSPIRATIONAL VIDEO

What's fucked up is I'VE SAID THE SAME SHIT. Here's a black woman who's gone through it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y38Pv9Z8EH0&;feature=related

And yes I got into it with her in the past - She made the video about black women being the rock and foundation, slavery, and all that bullshit. I think it was "CLASSIC BLACK WOMAN RHETORIC"

BLACK WOMEN VOLTRON
http://generation-x.net/members/viewVideo.php?video_id=194&;title=WHAT_HAPPENS_WHEN_BLACK_MEN_VOICE_THEIR_OPINIONS



TOM PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJDzlNq-VsM

Video Responses

Text Comments

Mairalv7

Mairalv7

(1 month ago)

I just saw Taren916's vlog which led me to this vlog. Taren916 was not promoting early pregnancy, she was saying it doesn't devalue a woman. Everybody has his/her standards I don't fault anyone for that, you like what you like and want what you want. With that said a lot of things said in your vlog were a classic case of double standards. Complete blame can't be placed on the female alone for having a child out of wedlock. You say single unwed mothers disgust you because they had children before marriage and then turn around and say the male isn't at fault because that's what men do. Your excuse about black men not stepping up because they don't have "authority" was a cop out. What really got me was what you said at the end about if you were king or whatever, you would embarrass a young girl for getting pregnant before being married to teach other young girls a lesson. Question, what would you do about the young man who got her pregnant before marrying her to teach young boys a lesson? Or do you feel it's ok for a male to not take care of his responsibilities? Unplanned pregnancy is an epidemic in our culture and something does need to be done, but placing all the blame on the females and trying to make them feel like they are damaged goods and should be alone until their children are grown isn't the answer(perhaps we should go back to the days of shot gun weddings). When the child arrives what's done is done and if things didn't work out with the child's father for one reason or another that doesn't mean they shouldn't want to get married one day because of that. Some women were young and didn't make the best decisions a lot of them probably grew up without their father in the home. We hear so much about strong mothers I feel the importance of having the father in the home is not stressed enough. A girl's father is her first love, he is her protector, when she grows up without him that's a recipe for disaster. It takes two people to have a child therefore two people should be held equally responsible for that child.

Reply...

 
 

Tmcblue

Tmcblue

(1 month ago)

I want to start by saying that you are spot on with every single thing that you said. However I do take issue with the why are you back on the market question?
Why are you back on the market? I am a single, 33-divorced mother of one child; my son was conceived and born within the confines of marriage. His Father supports him financially and is a wonderful and very present Father. Single parents don't just shrivel up and die once we have kids. We have needs both physically and emotionally speaking and would like to love again.

I am very attractive, work out regularly, not thick (overweight lol), educated, employed, financially responsible, a good mother, not ghetto, and no nasty attitude that black women have become infamous for having. That being said I can't compete with a single woman without kids so I don't try. My goal isn't to reproduce anyways so a single man without a kid(s) would never be on my list, as he will want his own progeny.

Failure to use birth control? This is a huge problem in the black community and I couldn't agree more. There is no reason in this day in age that a child should be brought into this world unintentionally. A bigger issue is that marriage isn't the standard and the idea of contraception is completely foreign in the black community. I have to blame black women for this, when I was single I refused to have children with someone that I wasn't married to and insisted on contraception being used. Women have the control in this area but they just don't want to believe it.

I only date men, who are already fathers, nothing in common with single men since I don't want more children and would never want someone around my son that doesn't like children. There is also the issue of me not being able to be as spontaneous as a single woman because I have responsibilities and single men don't understand that. So dating a single man with no children would just be an epic fail.

People with children should date people with children. I would tell a man or woman without children that they are best served dating another single childless person. After about 35/40 everyone has children due to being married and divorced (extremely common) or having a kid(s) outside of wedlock. I won't date a man with two baby mothers and wasn't married to either. It shows a lack of responsibility on his part and if he didn't marry either of them why should I think that he would ever marry me.

Reply...

 
 

Kshenry

Kshenry

(1 month ago)

I want start off by saying you are, by far, the MOST ignornant specimen I have come across. Almost every last comment you made is false. Let's start with the white women and shame. If you haven't been living under a rock, there is a show called 16 & pregnant with mostly WHITE teens on it. A few years ago the made national news that WHITE teen girls mad pats to get pregnant. Shame? They are a shameless as blacks are, so you say. I also want to bring up how you say that all black women over 25 has a child. I sir am black, 27 years old and childless! So are five of my closest friends. Maybe you need to check who you are surrounding yourself with. Lastly, where is the male role? last time I checked it takes two. Why don't y'all step your shit up?

Reply...

 
 

Karumera

Karumera

(1 month ago)

I actually came here because of Taren Guy's video and was ready to get angry, but you do make some valid points. I am a childless black woman, 31, attractive, with a degree and I am an executive at a major company. It's hard for me to find someone because I feel the same way about not dating men with kids.

While some of your comments left me incensed, you do make good points. As a community, we are like crabs in a bucket. I wish that we could be more supportive of each other, I wish we would build rather than destroy. I am childless and single and unlike the generalization you state, I don't want to get knocked up by some random dude.

I also agree that it is sad that the instance of new cases of AIDS is highest among black women because of the refusal to use condoms or the implicit agreement to allow their partner to not use a condom.

Your complaints are valid but my question to you is - what are your thoughts on how to start supporting each other as a community? Is it teaching the younger generation self-worth? Is it the examples they see and emulate which becomes a vicious cycle? I hear your brother, but your response breaks my heart if your observations are really the state of our community.

Reply...

 
 

Nubianbutterfly

Nubianbutterfly

(1 month ago)

I couldn't listen to this whole video due to the amount of profanity it contains- is your mindspan really so limited that you have to express yourself with such an extensive usage of vulgarity? Geesh!

I have yet to meet a man that refused to date me b/c I am a mother but if/when I do, I will take that simply as his preference, which everyone is entitled to. I prefer men taller than me. I prefer men that are ambitious and goal oriented (since @ 29 years old I am less than 2 years from my doctorate degree in education, OWN my home & SUV paid in full, and run a successful online affiliate marketing business among other outstanding achievements and aspirations). I prefer men who don't feel the need to disrespect someone just b/c they have an opinion that differs from their own (which by the way is behavior stereotypical of a person who has yet to experience full mental growth).

Taren was not glorifying single motherhood; she was uplifting the esteem of those who already are single mothers who have most likely been told they are invaluable and have ruined their lives. You developed your theory of what her video meant b/c of your aggravation with this topic. You are ignoring the FACT that sometimes people need to break up for the kids in order to provide them a healthy, safe childhood. People fall in love, reproduce, and don't always live happily ever after- even if they marry & have all their kids with the same man as I did. What do you suppose she do? Boo hoo about her choices? Please. This woman has a beautiful spirit and any man would be lucky to have her. Only someone who has the need to step on someone else would feel the amount of irritation you did by her message.... I feel the need to question YOUR level of self esteem.

FYI just b/c a woman is childless doesn't mean she's never been pregnant nor does it mean she is void of issues/baggage.

Try not to let this issue stress you out too much brother- I'm sure there are areas of your OWN life that need your focus. Have a nice day.

Reply...

 
 

30draia

30draia

(1 month ago)

When I was dating, I always excluded men with children. Because I didn't have any children myself. But once I got to a certain age, I realized that it would be more and more difficult to find a man with no children. Most people will have a chid or children by the time they are 30. Consdier the biologic fact that women are most fertile in their 20's.

Reply...

 
 

Blackguitar

Blackguitar

(1 month ago)

Great video, I can say that I agree with this video almost completely, and I'm a young mom.

I think so much of the problem is being to optimistic and thinking everything is going to be ok. The truth is people grow apart and if you can't learn to work it out and grow with that person then you definitely shouldn't be having any life commitments with that person and that includes having a baby. It's even worse when you're not finished puberty & you're brain isn't even finished developing, which is why I'm pro choice because having that reality set in could wake a lot of people up but the rose glasses keeps them sleep.

What I've learned (& I hope others will to) from this whole experience is just that we go about our dating process ALL WRONG. I'm not talking about fucking on the 1st day or the overly used excuse that we pass up good men for thugs because thats just not true most of the time. If you can't bring a man home to your parents and vice versa you shouldn't catch feelings or let him hit(raw) If your family isn't accepting of it you probably shouldn't be getting serious. Lastly & most importantly if he's not embedded in your family and you in his then the truth is you shouldn't be having your own.

Your family has that advantage to see that person from a different angle. Me personally I don't care for marriage because I've seen so many people settle, stay in bad situations, and do whatever it just seems that marriage has lost it's value.

If a man doesn't want to date a single mother that's fine maybe he's concerned with the type of decisions that this woman makes that would leave her in a vulnerable situation or maybe its as simple as hey he knows he doesn't wanna even stand next to a single mom & be put in a place where he would have any type of fatherly duty, hey ... at least he knows his limits.

Lastly I wanna say that I heart Taren & I know where she's coming from with the I don't NEED a man thing. A man compliments your being not complete it. No one needs a man but having one feels good XD & women know this which is why even if you don't find a man attractive if you find out he doesn't date your type then you know ... it sucks but it ain't the end.
Perfect example Lil wayne, I've heard tons of women say how ugly he was but when he talks about not dating dark women he's even more uglier to some & less ugly to some others

Reply...

 
 

Wayneo

Wayneo

(1 month ago)

100% truth from Kap



SWPDISCIPLE

Reply...

 
 

Kaptansolo

Kaptansolo

(1 month ago)

Sorealisreal wrote:

" A WOMAN WITH A CHILD IS NO LESS THAN THE WOMAN THAT HAS NO CHILDREN UNLESS THAT WOMAN IS A VIRGIN"



Solo's response

This is one of the main reasons you can't stop or turn off the valve on out of wedlock kids. This would have been ok to uplift a single mother from her depression by saying that she still has "value"...

but no!!!

You actually sit here and compare her to a childless woman?



No...women with children are NOT on par with childless women and you really need to stop promoting that dumb shit you said. You are never going to establish value in creating properly structured families if you suggest that having kids while not married and able to properly take care of them is no different than being a woman who has none.

You are saying that a woman who has made proper decisions and exercised a little more caution than a single mother is the same? Then why would any women NOT get preggy? Why would women ever develop a conscious attitude about the value of waiting to have children in a marriage?

Don't try that "virgin" routine either because no one here has suggested that in order for a woman to have value she has to be a virgin...unreal!!!



Ignorance at its best!





Reply...

 
 

Itstezzy

Itstezzy

(1 month ago)

I just want to say that I'm a young black woman and I agree with every word that you've said. Nobody wants to own up to their own mistakes these days. You don't see this type of enabling within the other races. You just don't. I see this every day. A lot of my peers have started to get pregnant and their families just accept it with open arms. Like they expected it. I don't understand...I really don't. Maybe it does seem nicer to sympathize and cater to these single mothers, but it doesn't help the situation. It just seems to be making it worse. I mean look at where we are now! I think that a little tough love could do the black community some good. Like you said, it's an epidemic...and I agree that it's shameful. I just wanted to put it out there that I agree, because after something so insightful and true, I just don't understand how some of these women commenting (who I assume are much older than I) can't come to terms with the fact that you are 100% correct.

Reply...

 
 

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Added by: Sargewp (636)

Channel:  People And Blogs

Description:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhwG0AIelFs&;feature=g-all-u&context=G2fa957fFAAAAAAAAAAA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJcGLhOZaec&;feature=watch_response

"well..I listened to the first video you sent
just remember she never said she had "childless" men as options for a relationship
she just said she could be in "A" relationship if she chose to
Now...if she starts talking about childless men as options, as fine as these two bitches are, yes, childless men will look at them and some will try to get involved. It's dumb, for the most part.(take it from me...I know all too well) but, it still goes back to legacies.

-------

Yes, childless men will sleep with these women but ideally and as a rule it is not their first choice. Also if the conversation was just about men with CHILDREN - this wouldn't even be a point of discussion because he has kids too, he has no real grounds to stand on, the only weak excuse he could come up with is if he doesn't have custody which makes him a pseudo childless man

------------

If BM were building legacies and had them to pass on....BM would be less likely to get involved with a single mother FOR THAT REASON!!!
and
women would know
as a result of seeing BM pass on legacies, that they have to remain childless to be of value to a builder
The main reason that BM don't want to get involved with a woman with children is because we don't want to take care of another man's children
but...it should also include the idea of passing on our wealth, business, legacy because those children would not be ours"

I agree with Kaptansolo here. Building is out - most men don't want to deal with single mothers because they MINIMALLY do not want to take care of another man's kids.

Black men do NOT like to come up off their money for building, let alone - ANOTHER MAN'S CHILD.

The issue is to men with no children, these men are not going to look at these women as a potential for marriage (as a rule).

Although I agree with Kap about the lack of building part, it should be known REGARDLESS OF IF A MAN IS BUILDING OR NOT, that for men who are financially stable and especially childless, a woman with KIDS IS NOT!!! NOT NOT!!!!! HIS FIRST CHOICE.


---------------

Lo Lo from off the corner with 4 kids in all her thick (fat) divaliciousness is not going to get an on point black man with any sense.

LO LO will hear vids like this and be inspired
and so will the 15 year old girls who aren't baby mamas yet
and when they get pregnant
they want to join the single mother club because it looks appealing
HEY THEY'RE GIVING OUT MOTHER OF THE EARTH MEDALS OVER THERE LETS GO
and here's to u - SINGLE MOTHER OF THE YEAR!
applause!
im not saying that there aren't women doing an excellent job
but clearly most arent'

"Hey I told you about the baby momma awards they gave out at my church. I was livid."

"It is. You are right. Like its more prestigious and honorable to be a single mother. Its makes you a stronger black woman because you are doing it on your own. They need to stop with that. It is much more honorable and difficult to keep a family together. People forget that.
I know... like the experience of having children is more important than the child
Children need the father in the home period
IN the home
I still say (and I know that most do not agree with me on this) that women should just keep their damn legs closed. Its the simplest solution."


id say men should too
but i don't know y i give more credit to the women
because to me these men are idiots
and the women are the ones running around like they know everything

es the men are idiots, but women 1) have control of the situation when it comes to sex in most cases. Men RARELY say no. 2) she is going to be the single mother, he doesn't even have to acknowledge the kid.


i'm like ok fearless leader how did you allow this to happen to you - and that's when women retreat to - I'm just a woman with emotions and I don't think because I have ovaries... and that's precisely why women shouldn't be leading because I know shit like this is going to happen

Yes. That's what happened. It went from uplifting to promoting
NO shame associated with it at all
and they are teaching black women that black men are not needed
for anything other than sperm donations

" What on earth can be done? its only going to get worse.
When you have black women who are perceived as intelligent and beautiful PROMOTING baby momma hood, what can we do?
and THEY are baby mommas themselves?"

that's whats worse
if they were fat and nasty
they could easily be dismissed but when its the fine ones promoting it
DEAR GOD SAVE US ALL


SIDE NOTE: GREAT INSPIRATIONAL VIDEO

What's fucked up is I'VE SAID THE SAME SHIT. Here's a black woman who's gone through it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y38Pv9Z8EH0&;feature=related

And yes I got into it with her in the past - She made the video about black women being the rock and foundation, slavery, and all that bullshit. I think it was "CLASSIC BLACK WOMAN RHETORIC"

BLACK WOMEN VOLTRON
http://generation-x.net/members/viewVideo.php?video_id=194&;title=WHAT_HAPPENS_WHEN_BLACK_MEN_VOICE_THEIR_OPINIONS



TOM PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJDzlNq-VsM