You can't feel anymore sorry for them than they do for confused mongrels who don't belong anywhere and aren't (fully)accepted into any society. Sorry for your loss :(
I really feel bad for a lot of black guys for what you guys have to deal with. Money matters, but it shouldn't be the primary driver for a relationship. In many ways it seems like you dudes have to essentially buy black women, which is a screwed up way to go because that means someone else can buy them from under you.
Money is only an issue for people who are overly materialistic , sadly, that's probably most people in the US. Money doesn't have to be an issue if you pick the right partner. I think this is a problem faced more so by guys who date black women, than the rest of us.
I meant 50% of her lifestyle, which is 100K lifestyle.
She's not going to be living a 60K lifestyle She's going to be living a 100K lifestyle and expect him to put in his 50% to the 100K lifestyle only leaving him with 10k - if he's trying to match her so that it's 50/50 to match her 50%.
check your math SWP.... 50% of 60k is 30,000 dollars. if the man puts in 50% he will have 30k left over and she will have 50k left. you have your "dollars" and percentages mixed up.
Your point is not be ignored though... She will have more working capital than the man putting her in a position to make more moves and override her husband if she decides on something that he disagrees with. ...and you are correct, kids(boys and girls) "see" this. it DOES send the message that women are in charge and can work independently of black men thereby rendering his ideas,concerns and opinions effectively pointless if the woman should decide so.
The man sits around and says I'm the man of the house %u2013 Yea%u2026 Ok :-/
What do the children see? Kids ain't dumb! I had 2 guys tell me about their stories.
The first man said upon giving his son a new xbox - "MOMMY PAID FOR THIS, DIDIN'T SHE!?"
DING DING DING!!!!!!!!! I told your stupid behind %u2013 you may think your running the house but you kids know WHO'S RUNNING IT. It doesn't take long before even a child knows the value of money and the POWER that money has. MONEY = POWER. If you don%u2019t' have it. You are powerless.
I don't care how much you love JESUS, ALLAH, THE MOST HIGH!!!!! All that means nothing without money! MONEY IS THE BIGGEST ISSUE IN OUR COMMUNITY, and the ones with the money don't know what to do with it, and the ones with the PASSION (myself included) DON'T HAVE THE MONEY!
HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THIS %u2013 "THE WHITE MAN DID NOT TAKE GOD OUT OF THE COMMUNITY, HE DIDN'T TAKE RELIGION, HE DIDN'T TAKE GOOD CHARACTER, OR YOUR FAVORITE GYM SHORT %u2013 HE TOOK (SAY IT WITH ME NOW) THE MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why don%u2019t people get this!?
RETARDED!
And we actually have brothas sitting around saying money does not matter %u2013 WOW!!!!! WOW!!!!!! How could anyone possibly live in the black community and say that?
The other guy said to me he got offended because his son stopped asking him for money and permission to do things, but he exposed himself in an earlier conversation. He deferred all decisions to the mother as well as, when money was needed.
"GO ASK YOU MOTHER."
I wanted to slap him. He complained to be about STILL BEING THE MAN OF THE HOUSE. Why is the kid going to continue to ask you for permission or MONEY when
HE KNOWS THAT HIS MOTHER IS THE FINAL SAY ON EVERYTHING?
Even a kid is not going to waste his time messing around with you when he knows that YOU ARE NOT THE SHAKER AND THE MAKER!
I AM SO SICK OF THESE WEAK ASS BLACK MEN WHO JUST DON'T GET IT!!!!!!
Brotha you have been told a lie! I know you grew up with women telling you its about your character or whether you were a God Fearing man %u2013 YOU, MY BROTHA, HAVE BEEN PLAYED FOR A FOOL.
Go out there and talk to those other races of men about money. IT IS NOT EVEN A POINT DISCUSSION!
But with us? (Stupid Voice) Well you know it really shouldn't be about how much money I make.
Black women on the other side of the planet - "YOU GO GIRL %u2013 GET YOUR DEGREE'S GIRL! WOOO HOOO!"
And I know damn well black women aren't gonna do shit with those degrees except brag, buy purses, shoes, a nice condo in the white suburbs - (SAME STUFF EDUCATED BLACKS HAVE BEEN DOING FOR DECADES!)
Oh%u2026 I'm wrong!? THAT'S SEXIST YOU SAY!?
Ummm check this out %u2013 do you see any bus loads of black women in the black community building anything? Do you see any women with BRICKS IN THEIR HANDS? Do you see an construction going on, directed by women?
I'm sorry %u2013 I totally forgot about the Engineering Firm across the street owned and operated by black women, that hires nothing but black women, and is dedicated to the development of the black community.
I MUST BE BLIND %u2013 or full of so much hatred and bias against women that I totally missed the 3 women who just passed me with their Yellow Hard Hats on and PVC pipe full of Blue Prints for the next black youth community center.
If she controls the money %u2013 SHE IS THE CHIEF DECISION MAKER. And I am so sick and tired of hearing NEGROS %u2013 sit around and say that money doesn't matter when ALL BLACK WOMEN DO - is focus on getting their education and money right - (mainly) out of the fear that they are
going to end up a single mom Black men will fail them (rolling my eyes) leave them for a white woman End up in jail bla bla bla bla bla. I'm so sick of these brothas sitting around talking about how much money doesn't matter and how THEY ARE STILL GOING TO BE THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD.
I'm sorry, I CALL BULLSHIT!
When the woman is making more money.
NEGROS GET COMFORTABLE ITS HER EVERYTHING BECAUSE SHE PAID FOR IT %u2013 YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE AS MUCH PRIDE IN WHAT YOUUUUUUUUUUUU DON'T OWN, CONTROL, OR CREATE %u2013 SHE DOES (renters vs property owners) Ever see a renters front lawn? IF YOU GO WITH THE STUPID IDEA OF 50/50 THAT WILL NOT WORK SHE IS MAKING 100K YOU MAKE 60K
SHE CONTRIBUTES 50% OF HER MONEY TO A JOINT ACCOUNT, YOU CONTRIBUTE 50% OF YOURS.
SHE HAS 50K LEFT OVER.
YOU HAVE 10K.
AND WE EXPECT BLACK MEN TO BE THE ONES TO FIX UP AND REPAIR THE COMMUNITY WITH THIS SORT OF SET UP.
THAT'S A JOKE!!!!!!!
Omg. I swear I'm about to hop up out this mofo because Black men and women have convinced themselves into a role reversed COMMUNITY.
LOOK AROUND YOU, DOES THIS CRAP LOOK LIKE ITS' WORKING!? Omg
You CAN'T turn a house husband into a builder %u2013 just like you can't turn a hoe into a housewife!
Please%u2026 if she's making 3 times more she's going to be living the lifestyle she can AFFORD. There is nothing to debate or discuss here %u2013 black men need to get it together %u2013 PERIOD!!!!!
She is not going to be living a 35k lifestyle while making 100K. It will be her ship and her program and that's exactly what women want.
UP UNTIL!!!!!!!!!
Some serious stuff happens and then they don't like the fact that they have to carry the majority of the weight.
OR they see white women sitting out here, living CUSHY, and say to themselves - "DAMN %u2013 HOW COME I DON'T HAVE A STRONG BLACK MAN LIKE THAT HOLDING ME DOWN!"
Well for one, that's not what you originally signed up for %u2013 you signed up for equality, and a lazy black man is going to use that against you.
2) Several women SHAME BLACK MEN INTO DATING THEM WHEN THEY KNOW DAMN WELL HE'S NOT READY AND ESTABLISHED YET.
"He's intimidated by my success! He can't handle a strong black women!"
3) Men who frequently are raised by women and/or had no positive established male role models are COMFORTABLE with a woman running it. The problem is THAT this is not a HUSBAND/WIFE RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC. It has now become a MOTHER/SON dynamic.
These guys are reduced to sperm donors and they don't even know it.
THEN WE WONDER WHY THESE GUYS AREN'T AROUND %u2013 They have little to nothing to offer. He most certainly can't offer his sons leadership. Obviously every single home can't be the man being the BREAD WINNER %u2013 but IT SHOULD BE THE MAJORITY if we are to maintain a patriarchal structure that will be able to compete with OTHER patriarchal structures.
"MAN IT SHOULD BE ABOUT MY CHARACTER!"
CHARACTER BE DAMNED!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can't get shit done without money, and men are NOT going to be able to charge women with the responsibility of building up the community just because they make more money.
A MATRIARCHAL community cannot go up against a PATRIARCHY. PERIOD %u2013 END OF STORY. Do we see any viable, productive, matriarchies today? NO BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL CRUSHED!
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